I could not stand Christians.
Or Catholicism.
Or Jesus.
Or organized religion in general.
I was “Too good.” “Better than.” “Smarter than.”
I would shake my head at them, wasting their precious weekends going to Church, praying to and loving a made-up being.
Then, (as if God had some sort of plan for my life haha) I joined the military and met my husband.
I was baffled. How could such a highly-educated, logical, down-to-Earth, grown man have such a love for Catholicism? It didn’t make any sense.
He would invite me to go to Mass with him every Sunday and I would politely decline. No thanks. I was “busy” doing who even knows what now? Browsing the internet? Going to the mall? Laughable now.
I specifically remember the night. We had been dating for a while, and things were starting to get more serious. He told me that he wanted to raise his kids Catholic. He didn’t mind if I wasn’t, but raising Catholic children was very important to him, because he saw the wonderful influence it had on him and his sisters growing up.
I was sad, but I understood. I told him I couldn’t raise my kids to believe something that I didn’t.
But I continued to watch his dedication, commitment and love for the Lord. It made me start to desire to learn more (plus, he was cute, so that helped.😉) I told him I was willing to *try* it out. I would attempt to learn more about the religion and if it didn’t work, we could go our separate ways, no hard feelings.
So I started going to Mass once every couple weeks (although it was quite the inconvenience to my weekend, let me tell you.)
And I was weird and awkward and my cheeks burned with embarrassment as I stayed seated in the pew while everyone else went up for communion.
But I continued to go. And I *really* started to listen to each Gospel and each homily. And I started asking questions.
All of my ugly, stubborn, (kind of mean) questions. To him. To priests.
And I started reading the Catechism. And I started learning the history of the Church. And learning about miracles. And about the saints. I became fully immersed in a world I had never known.
And something strange happened
I was able to let down this MASSIVE wall of pure pride.
So what if Jesus was real? What if all of this is true? Would it be so bad to maybe just…believe in something?
I finally got it.
It was at that moment that I felt Jesus’ calm, yet extremely proud, presence around me. He wrapped me in a big bear hug, so happy to have me with Him.
I look back on my life, on all the times Jesus tried SO HARD to bring me to Him, and I downright refused. There were so many times in my life where I needed Him, and secretly wanted Him, but didn’t allow myself.
But He was always there in the background. Never giving up on me. Waiting patiently.
If you’re on the fence about Catholicism, or just getting to know Jesus in general, know that He is there.
He’s waiting patiently for you too, and He always will be.
Whenever you’re ready.
